A Mental Game

I may have mentioned this before, like all other runners, about how much running is so mental. This week was not the most pleasant training week for a number of reasons.

First off, I am completely stressed out and have been trying to use yoga and running to "ease" the stress if that is at all possible (my stress has been significantly reduced due to a most recent event yesterday, which I will share when some things are confirmed). Secondly, my shorter runs have been terrible. When I started training for this marathon, I wanted work on the speed of my runs, but this week just didn't cut it. Finally, I keep having flashbacks of my 14 mile (my distance this weekend) run in January: horrible knee pain, frigid weather, and a lack of drive.

With this unmanageable stress, terrible runs and a mental mosaic of flashbacks, how was it going to be possible to stay positive about my 14 mile run on Saturday? In preparation I tried to eliminate all the bad feelings and think positively. It seemed impossible and pretty much was. I just decided to accept that this run was going to be a bad one.

And guess what? IT WAS! I mentally blocked myself from having a good run. I made it impossible. Of course, I don't realize any of this until I have finished and was thinking about why it was so terrible. It was hot and I didn't hydrate well enough the day before. That's all. There weren't bad omens out to get me. I did it to myself.

Now let me clarify. It was not near as bad as my run in January. I love running in Overland Park in the mornings because of the wonderful shade that it provides, so I really can't complain about the heat.  Maybe when I run 14 miles again, I won't psych myself out.

The 8 miles this weekend won't be too bad, even though I have to do it by myself before I head out for a wonderful bachlorette weekend with my girlfriends at the lake.  And I know 16 miles the following weekend will be great, because my last 16 was strong (well, actually I don't remember specifically, but only 14 shines out as terrible in my memory thankfully).

Sometimes I think I am a mental basket case.  At least we have surpassed the unlucky number of 14.

The Day Before Vacation

It being the day before my vacation is actually irrelevant to anything that I did today.  I have two profound subjects to cover here: water & shoes.

First: Water

It's 97 degrees today in Kansas City. Its too hot for a raccoon to be found in the Johnson County water supply this morning and cause the county to be on Boil Alert. Today I learned what a Boil Alert was: a pain. Convenient that my "landlords" left town and forgot to leave bottled water for unexpected contamination problems. I also learned today that you don't drink distilled water, only purified. Thank you to the lady at Target.  I should have known when there were only two gallons of purified left next to shelves of distilled.

Are these two gallons of water going to get me through the rest of the evening, a yoga class, a ten mile run tomorrow, and through 5pm when conveniently the Boil Alert is over and my flight leaves? I sure hope so. I have learned a lot about water today and my pre-vacation brain might be overloaded if I find out other hidden facts about the one component of my nutrition that I now see I take for granted.

Second: Shoes

Note: Please just agree that the man at Gary Gribbles was laughing with me today.

This shoe predicament all started on a run with my friend Brent on Tuesday. I have known that it was about time to retire my mildewy marathon shoes from LA. I have ran over 200 miles in them, so there is some attachment issues I have been working on.  Brent basically told me I needed new shoes; he clearly didn't want to go on another run of me complaining.

I had some time to kill on Wednesday, so I headed over to Gary Gribbles hoping that seeing all the shoes would inspire me to try some new shoes. No it just overloaded my head with confusion. I am not adverse to change. And really there is no reason for change considering I could have just got the same shoes (Brooks Ghost 3). I am, though, "cautiously adventurous." In other words: I want to be adventurous, but this is a difficult task and takes many hours of over analyzing and evaluation.  And this is exactly what Shoes #1 brought.

Shoes #1:

Asics Gel-Cumulus 13

These shoes even got a photo shoot in the "product photo booth" at work, but they just didn't make the cut. After I tested them out on the treadmill for 3 miles, I went through an extremely annoying war with myself. That run was very unpleasant for the mere fact I was trying to find something wrong with them.  Here is what was wrong with them:
- They didn't make running easier
- They didn't help me run faster
- They didn't provide a sudden burst of energy to do more than 3 miles
So basically nothing was wrong with them. Basically it was operator mental error.

So back to Gary Gribbles I went. Really this was more of a mental journey (my Gary Gribbles life saver asked me how long I sat in my car contemplating if I should come in or not; he hit my personally type right on). I wanted to know if someone could figure out why I was having such a problem deciding on shoes. I am sure that dealing with customers like me is not in their training, but this man was well-trained in the art of dealing with "mentally unstable shoe buyers."  He listened intently to my problem (well me just going around and around with why I don't know if I can change shoes) and my jokes about the timeliness of the patriotic color (I couldn't have him believing I was a total nut-job). And, then he somehow made the decision I should try on the Brooks again, while making me think this was all my decision (all men should take note on this).

Two choices now. Two feet. Ghost 3 or Ghost 4?
Just like a car: a new version.
The quick jog around Gribbles (with my work dress bouncing about) helped me make the decision.

So here is Shoe #2

Brooks Ghost 4

Small change was better than large change. I opted for the newer version, which I am still thinking I need to try these babies out on the treadmill before I make any big decisions (like running 10 miles outside in them tomorrow). So I might test these out on a short scenic mile on the treadmill later tonight.

And the best part: these were cheaper so I was talked into buying some new fuel. I mean the impression of "unable to make change" must have not been that bad if he was trying to convince me to "try" a new fuel.

A Little Rain Won't Hurt

Actually, the rain at the end of an 8 mile run was wonderful! Not only did it remind me of sloshing through the streets of LA for over 5 hours, but it was refreshing from the humid stagnant air that was waffling around the woods for the first few miles. 

I know I have been a blogging-slacker because I have been officially training for 3 weeks for The Nike Women's Marathon on October 16 and I have only blogged once. Every run is important even if they seem small in comparison to the end goal right now (how quickly this will change soon). Sometimes it blows my mind how hard just a 3 mile run is to get through.

More importantly, I need everyone to meet Jenn. For now she is not my coach (well she is) but she is also Yoga Queen.

This is the only picture I could find on her Facebook (yes kinda creepy) but she can do things that I just did not know bodies could do.  I have been going to her yoga classes probably since November, and I honestly don't know if I could run if I didn't go (and NO she has not brain-washed me). It is remarkable what yoga can do for a runner (and a stressed out 25 year old). I feel the difference every time I do not go.

Well Thursday I went to her Yoga Workshop, and OH MY was my head overloaded with things to think about during my practice.  Technically not during my practice because I am not suppose think about all of them. First I learned I was doing a forward fold wrong...and then a plank...and then...seriously the list goes on and I generally can't spell the terms. Instead of being discouraging news to find out my form is horrible, it is invigorating that now I KNOW how to do; knowing how to do it correctly can only help me to try to DO it correctly.

The most interesting thing I learned (lets see how I explain this) is how when we stand we use our ligaments instead of our muscles. Why would we do that? As we stood and balanced our fake bowls (not literally: our lungs and hip bones) on top of each other so no water spilled and focused on using our muscles to stand, I truly felt a difference. I just never thought about this and how counterproductive it is to use the tissue that doesn't get blood or get stronger. And I may have explained this completely wrong.  This is why you have to actually meet Jenn and go to one of her yoga classes, because I don't know what I am talking about at all (I wasn't allowed to bring my video camera, voice recorder, or notebook into the class).  I should try sneaking one in next time...

And I Am BACK!

On March 20, 2011, I completed The LA Marathon (my first) with the Leukemia & Lymphoma's Team in Training and now I am back for more! After a monsoon in Los Angeles we are all still smiling and ready for more. I have decided to head back to California for the Nike Women's Marathon on October 16, 2011 in San Francisco.

Here's is why I am back:

Besides the most phenomenal friends that I experienced and met through this, the early Saturday runs at 6:00am, the sore muscles, the achievement of 26.2 miles, and the list could go on, it is truly the cause of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society that drives me to do another. As I began my fundraising for the LA Marathon, I could never have imagined how many people are affected, have been affected, or know someone who has been affected by these blood related cancers. I have heard stories after stories that bring tears to my eyes every time.

This story of Bob is just one that keeps me motivated and dedicated to this cause:

In December, I held a fundraiser at my mom's quilt shop where customers could purchase purple stars to decorate our Christmas Tree for a chance to win various gift certificates. I sold the stars through the website and promoted the fundraiser through our newsletter. Immediately after I raised awareness of my efforts to help LLS, I got into contact with Bob's wife who made a generous donation to my cause and told me all about Bob's struggles with lymphoma. We stayed in contact as Bob's condition worsened. In early February, I recieved this email from her:


Bob was first diagnosed almost 6 years ago, and the chemo followed by the stem cell transplant gave him almost 5 cancer-free years. When the lymphoma showed up in his central nervous system/brain, we knew that was bad news, but the chemo gave him another 6 months. This was the best Christmas our family can remember. So, while he is now dying, the research you're funding helped our family get a lot of years together. That's why you're doing this, and why we'll continue to support anyone who runs for this cause.

Bob passed away on February 27. Just weeks before I was about to run my marathon, his story reinspired me and kept me going through the tough training runs and also throughout the entire 26.2 Miles. I realized at that point that I was making a difference in lives. Bob's family was blessed with 6 more years full of memories and a wonderful last Christmas with him because of the research that The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society has funded. Just helping to make that difference in one family's life is enough. But the ability to now do it again, is just that much more.

My grandma passed away in August of 2010 of lung cancer, and she was my original inspiration to join Team in Training and run for a cause. I know that if I could have had 5 more years or even just a week longer with her it would have meant the world to me. If I can give that to someone else by helping to pave the road to a cure for all cancers through the research that LLS is doing then my mission will be complete.

So here I go again on the mission to help save lives and fight blood cancers!

Nike Women's Marathon 2011

This is about all I can say about it at the moment considering the website is barely updated and registration is preliminary. 

It IS my next endeavor: my next Full Marathon.

I took my registration to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society office today; it is official.  Even if they aren't recruiting for it yet, I am ready. I hope my friend Jenna will join me in this journey! And, I am so glad my wonderful mentor Hannah from LA is not retired and is going to do it, too!! I can't wait to finish another marathon with her!

A Shoe Predicament

I am uncertain about what to do with my running shoes that have no in-soles (which are replaceable) and smell like sour mildew (it was really one of the most unappealing smells when I went to stretch after my run today--they've been resting on the back deck since I arrived back to KC).

I have a very addictive personality and it is hard for my to even fathom getting rid of these shoes.  Just to make them even meaningful to me, I had to count the amount of miles these shoes have taken me.  They have been with me for 290.2 miles since December 5 (I have run 349.2 miles since I started training October 21).

What is the mile life of running shoes anyways?

I've heard from different sources that its between 300-400, so I really do have about 100 more miles on them (I feel as if I am talking about my car here. Time for a new oil change?)  This is a very factual guess (I have been told recently that if I don't know the answer to something I don't need to make something up and I can just admit it...Me?)

So, now these stinky shoes are sitting in my room staring at me and saying, "are you really going to replace me? I got you through a monsoon during your first marathon!"

I don't have time to talk back today.  So Garry Gribbles must wait until I am fully capable of this major change.


FYI: Those wonderful shoes in the banner of my blog are these shoes we are talking about.  Do I need to replace the photo if I have retired the shoes? Or can that be their statement of my running history: My First Pair of Marathon Running Shoes.  See the decision just gets more and more complicated.

5:54:19

It rained. It poured. We were soaking wet. BUT still it was the most amazing experience of my life.

Here's the breakdown of my 26.2 Mile run:
Mile 1-7: Was wonderful (except for the rain but we have run in colder conditions)--These were almost painless

Mile 8: I am starting to have to go to the bathroom, but the Porty Potty lines were LONG!

Mile Shortly After: We decided we were wet and it would be easier just to go to the bathroom while running.  Yes we just started peeing as we ran (we figured out that you had to literally stop to get started). I don't honestly know if my sopping wet pants would even pull down at this point.

Mile 10-12: Around now I was having some shoe issues; one in-sole of my shoe was bubbling.  I stopped and took it out.  So even if I lost one sole, I still had my whole "soul"

Mile 13: Here's were it got harder; we still had to do the distance again. This part was mentally challenging.  Let me remind you it's still pouring.

Mile 14: The rain broke momentarily. I had time to take a photo so I get my phone out on our walking interval.  Two seconds later I slipped on an orange peel.  The man behind me felt bad until he saw I was texting.  I decided no more texting, plus I was thinking my phone was done (water-logged) after this.

Mile 15: Here's where our group split a bit.  We didn't realize but this was a tough part of the race.  Still a lot ahead, but our bodies were talking.  Morgan, Hannah, Hilary and I going pretty strong at this point.  I was feeling good with some pain, but our pacing and intervals were keeping us good.

Mile 16-17: This was a blur.  I don't know what happened here, but we still kept strong.

Mile 18: This is were I started choking up.  Literally, I was about to start balling.  I couldn't believe that I was about to complete a marathon (I knew I could do this even if I had 8 miles more).  I had to concentrate so hard on not breaking down into an excited sob.

Mile 19:  We knew we were going to see Coach Jen between 16 and 20, so we were expecting her at this point.  It was the greatest moment when we saw her.  Just having her run with us for about 1/2 a mile really pumped us up.

Mile 20: Still running off the excitement of seeing Jen.

Mile 21: Here was when I think I hit a wall (or if that's what we could call it). I think it hit me that at this pace, I still was going to be running over an hour.  Why I mentally did this to myself...I don't know.  It really helped to have my three teammates at this point.  We didn't talk about our pain and just kept going.  In my mind I am thinking, "well, if they are ok so am I."  They were thinking the same thing.

Mile 22-23: This was pure struggle.  The rain had run the crowds away(if there were any to begin with) so Veterns Hill was lonely and the river of water was deeper.  This is where I had to remove my other in-sole, too.

Mile 24: There were no choices to turn back (not that there were before) but we knew we could do this. This was even more emotional.  I really was trying to keep it together here.  I was emotional and tired.  I was so excited that we were almost done, and so proud of us.  We were doing great.  We slowed down a bit, but it was hard to do anything but keep the motion of a run at almost a walk pace.  A monsoon rain came at this point.  We thought it was hailing. The roads were flooding. We were running in 2" deep water at this point. We kept trekking.

Mile 25: This is where I lost it.  Literally.  We saw Ricky and Hayley and I just started crying.  I ran up to Ricky before Hilary could even get there for the biggest hug.  The course crowd was empty but the two of them!  It was the perfect way to end this race.  I caught my breathe after my tears and was ready for 1.2 more miles.

Smooth sailing from here...

Mile 26.2:  Finally, we could see the crowds.  This is how I imagined I would finish this race.  I don't know how long I went on this stretch without crying/balling.  I have never experienced something like this.  There are truly no words to explain.  Morgan, Hannah, Hilary and I held hands as we ran through the finish line all balling.  I couldn't think.  All I needed was my Mylar blanket.  I almost forgot about my medal. We huddled and just cried.

We finished in 5:54:19 at an average 13:30 a mile.

Here's were it became one of the most miserable experiences.  It was sooooo cold, we were so tired, we couldn't find our families and friends, and we had to walk 3-4 blocks to get inside. We just had to make it to the hotel were TNT participants were to check in and get food.

It was the most miserable walk of my life. It seems so much less painful as I sit in bed right now and drink my Coors Light.  I am sorry but I have to admit, I am still unshowered.  The thought of showering sounds like I have to move.  It will be nice, but the process of getting there sounds intense.  Hannah just came in and said, "Morgan, you have still not showered?" I guess maybe I should.

I just want to end on one thought. This was the most amazing experience of my life. I am ready for my next (yes...I need some time). I have met people who I will never forget who experienced with this. The only people who know so much about my life and about all of my bowel movements.  I couldn't ask for anything different.

Oh PS: We made it on TV and were told many times we had the best outfits :) I mean I could have finished last and that would have still made me feel like the winner.